


Doctor Who Reacts to Themselves

by SophieFosterTheDemigodDauntlessWizard



Category: Doctor Who & Related Fandoms
Genre: Doctor who reacts, F/F, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-28
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-12 17:35:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29763195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SophieFosterTheDemigodDauntlessWizard/pseuds/SophieFosterTheDemigodDauntlessWizard
Summary: Ok just so y’all know I’m not British so I might use slang or other words that the British don’t use, so sorry about that. I also refer to the Doctors as their regeneration number, just to clarify.
Relationships: Amy Pond/Rory Williams, Tenth Doctor/Rose Tyler
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7





	1. Intro

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Watching doctor who](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28089219) by [NovaTheCat (Zeta_Nova)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zeta_Nova/pseuds/NovaTheCat). 



> Ok just so y’all know I’m not British so I might use slang or other words that the British don’t use, so sorry about that. I also refer to the Doctors as their regeneration number, just to clarify.

Intro

21 people appeared in a room, all passed out. 6 gained consciousness quicker than the rest, and that six stood up and began talking.

“Hello sweeties,” said River Song. “Anyone have any idea where we are, and how we got here?”

“River!” cried four of the five Doctors.

“Wait, how do we all know her?” inquired the 10th regeneration of the Doctor.

“Ok, we are all the same person except for River, of course.” explained the 13th regeneration, who is also the only girl. “Although I feel like it is strange all of us are here at the same time, yet time isn’t shattering.”

“Wait, I get that some of you are my future regenerations, but there’s more of you than possible.” said the 9th regeneration. “There’s only two regenerations after me, but there are four of you.”

“I was wondering that too.” agreed 11. “I should be the last one, but these two,” he gestured to 12 and 13, “aren’t in my past, so they must be our future, right?”

“It’s complicated.” said 12 and 13 at the same time.

As they were talking everyone else started to regain consciousness. Three of them broke off from the pack of humans and headed towards the Doctors and River.

“12, behind you!” 13 warned. 12 caught a hand as it tried to reach around his neck.

“Missy, play nice.” 12 said. 13 acknowledged Missy with a nod, and then pointed to the two men on either side of her.

“Master!” Everyone but 12 and 13 gasped as they recognized the first man.

“But who’s this “Missy” person, and who’s the second man by them?” 9 asked.

“Well, I couldn’t keep calling myself “Master”, now could I?” Missy casually said.

“And I’m also the Master, but only this lady right here,” the second man gestures to 13, “has met me.”

“Ok, so both of the Masters and Missy are accounted for, we’re all accounted for, and all our companions will need some explanation, but they’re accounted for too. The last question is why are we here?” asked 13. As she finished the question a large flat-screen television materialized, along with sofas and a snack wall.

“To watch some telly, I suppose.” River responded.

At the sound of her voice, Amy and Rory, two of 11’s companions, rushed over and enveloped River in a hug.

“Mum, Dad, please, there are people here.” River said, gently pushing away her parents.

10 opened his mouth to ask a question, but 11 just responded with “Don’t ask.”

Everyone got comfy on the couches and recliners as the TV turned on and the words “Doctor Who” flashed across the screen.


	2. The End of the World

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there will probably be multiple parts to each episode they watch because the episodes are very long and I don’t have a whole lot of time to edit 40, 50 minutes worth of script at a time.

Chapter 1:

The End of the World

After the theme song finished, with some very enthusiastic singing along to the DOOWEEDOO by 11 and 13, the episode started.

_ [Tardis] _

_ DOCTOR: Right then, Rose Tyler, you tell me. Where do you want to go? Backwards or forwards in time. It's your choice. What's it going to be?  _

_ ROSE: Forwards.  _

_ DOCTOR: How far?  _

_ ROSE: One hundred years.  _

_ (A few seconds of travel.)  _

_ DOCTOR: There you go. Step outside those doors, it's the twenty second century.  _

_ ROSE: You're kidding.  _

_ DOCTOR: That's a bit boring, though. Do you want to go further?  _

_ ROSE: Fine by me.  _

_ DOCTOR: Ten thousand years in the future. Step outside, it's the year 12005, the new Roman Empire.  _

_ ROSE: You think you're so impressive.  _

_ DOCTOR: I am so impressive.  _

_ ROSE: You wish.  _

“Um, we are  _ very _ impressive.” protested 13.

_ DOCTOR: Right then, you asked for it. I know exactly where to go. Hold on!  _

_ (The Tardis zooms down a time vortex.)  _

_ ROSE: Where are we? What's out there? _

“What is out there, Doc?” asked Graham, one of 13’s companions.

“Spoilers!” River said with a smirk on her face.

_ [Gallery 15] _

_ (Rose goes down a flight of steps and a large shutter in the wall descends to reveal an orbital view of the Earth.)  _

“That looks so cool!” Bill Potts, one of 12’s companions exclaimed. “You’ll definitely have to take me up there sometime.” 12 shushed her, which earned him a smack on the arm.

_ DOCTOR: You lot, you spend all your time thinking about dying, like you're going to get killed by eggs or beef or global warming or asteroids. But you never take time to imagine the impossible, that maybe you survive. This is the year five point five slash apple slash twenty six. Five billion years in your future, and this is the day  _

_ (He looks at his wrist watch.)  _

_ DOCTOR: Hold on.  _

_ (The sun flares and turns red.)  _

_ DOCTOR: This is the day the Sun expands. Welcome to the end of the world. _

“Doctor, you’ve seen the end of the world?” Donna Noble, one of 10’s companions, asked. 

“Multiple times actually, from various perspectives.” 11 answered.

_ [Space] _

_ (A pair of small spaceships approach a large cruciform space station hanging in Earth orbit.)  _

_ COMPUTER: Shuttles five and six now docking. Guests are reminded that Platform One forbids the use of weapons, teleportation and religion. Earth Death is scheduled for fifteen thirty nine _

_ [Platform One] _

_ COMPUTER: Followed by drinks in the Manchester Suite.  _

_ (The Doctor and Rose walk along a corridor.)  _

_ ROSE: So, when it says guests, does that mean people?  _

_ DOCTOR: Depends what you mean by people.  _

_ ROSE: I mean people. What do you mean?  _

_ DOCTOR: Aliens.  _

_ ROSE: What are they doing on board this spaceship? What's it all for?  _

_ DOCTOR: It's not really a spaceship, more like an observation deck. The great and the good are gathering to watch the planet burn.  _

_ (The Doctor uses his sonic screwdriver on a wall panel.)  _

_ ROSE: What for?  _

_ DOCTOR: Fun _

“I still can’t believe how calmly you talked about this.” Rose said.

“So is this what you two did before you met me?” Captain Jack Harkness asked. “Watch Rose’s home planet burn for fun?”

“That was one time, ok? It was also probably the most fun we had before we met you.” 9 said.

_ [Observation gallery] _

_ (A large area with a few display cases and a view of space to the front and above.)  _

_ DOCTOR: Mind you, when I said the great and the good, what I mean is, the rich.  _

_ ROSE: But, hold on. They did this once on Newsround Extra. The sun expanding, that takes hundreds of years.  _

_ DOCTOR: Millions, but the planet's now property of the National Trust. They've been keeping it preserved. See down there? Gravity satellites holding back the sun. _

_ ROSE: The planet looks the same as ever. I thought the continents shifted and things.  _

_ DOCTOR: They did, and the Trust shifted them back. That's a classic Earth. But now the money's run out, nature takes over.  _

_ ROSE: How long's it got?  _

_ DOCTOR: About half an hour and then the planet gets roasted.  _

_ ROSE: Is that why we're here? I mean, is that what you do? Jump in at the last minute and save the Earth?  _

_ DOCTOR: I'm not saving it. Time's up.  _

_ ROSE: But what about the people?  _

_ DOCTOR: It's empty. They're all gone. No one left.  _

_ ROSE: Just me, then.  _

_ (A blue-skinned person with golden slit eyes strides towards them.)  _

_ STEWARD: Who the hell are you?  _

_ DOCTOR: Oh, that's nice, thanks.  _

_ STEWARD: But how did you get in? This is a maximum hospitality zone. The guests have disembarked. They're on their way any second now.  _

_ DOCTOR: That's me. I'm a guest. Look, I've got an invitation. Look. There, you see? It's fine, you see? The Doctor plus one. I'm the Doctor, this is Rose Tyler. She's my plus one. Is that all right?  _

“Wait, but that paper was blank,” noted Yasmin Khan, another one of 13’s companions. “Why did you say it was an invitation?”

“Have I really never used my psychic paper in front of you before?” 13 asked. 12 shushed them, which earned him a piece of candy to the face.

_ (The Doctor puts away the piece of apparently blank paper he was showing to the steward.)  _

_ STEWARD: Well, obviously. Apologies, et cetera. If you're on board, we'd better start. Enjoy.  _

_ (The Steward goes over to a lectern.)  _

_ DOCTOR: The paper's slightly psychic. It shows them whatever I want them to see. Saves a lot of time.  _

_ ROSE: He's blue.  _

_ DOCTOR: Yeah.  _

_ ROSE: Okay.  _

_ STEWARD: We have in attendance the Doctor and Rose Tyler. Thank you. All staff to their positions.  _

_ (A lot of small people appear.)  _

_ STEWARD: Hurry, now, thank you. Quick as we can. Come along, come along. And now, might I introduce the next honoured guest? Representing the Forest of Cheam, we have trees, namely, Jabe, Lute and Coffa.  _

_ (A bark-skinned woman enters with two larger male escorts.)  _

All the Doctors look down as they remember what happens.

_ STEWARD: There will be an exchange of gifts representing peace. If you could keep the room circulating, thank you. Next, from the solicitors Jolco and Jolco, we have the Moxx of Balhoon.  _

_ (Another blue alien, this time mostly head and body, sitting on a transport pod.)  _

“Not very handsome, he is.” Bill says.

_ STEWARD: And next, from Financial Family Seven, we have the Adherents of the Repeated Meme.  _

_ (A group of black-robed bipeds.)  _

“Repeated Meme? Like an Internet meme?” Amy Pond, one of 11’s companions asked. She got shushed by 12 and he got a pillow thrown at him.

_ STEWARD: The inventors of Hypo-slip Travel Systems, the brothers Hop Pyleen. Thank you.  _

_ (Fur clad reptilians. The announcements of variations on the biped theme continue.)  _

_ STEWARD: Cal Spark Plug. Mister and Mrs Pakoo. The Ambassadors from the City State of Binding Light.  _

_ (The trees go up to the Doctor.)  _

_ JABE: The Gift of Peace. I bring you a cutting of my Grandfather.  _

_ (She gives the Doctor a rooted twig in a small pot.)  _

_ DOCTOR Thank you. Yes, gifts. Er, I give you in return air from my lungs.  _

_ (He breathes gently on Jabe.)  _

_ JABE: How intimate.  _

_ DOCTOR: There's more where that came from.  _

_ JABE: I bet there is.  _

“Are you flirting with a tree person?” Martha Jones, one of 10’s companions, asked.

_ STEWARD: From the Silver Devastation, the sponsor of the main event, please welcome the Face of Boe.  _

_ (A large glass case barely makes it through the doorway. It contains a giant humanoid head with straggly hair and squinting eyes.)  _

At this point, 11, 12, and 13 all have to stifle their laughter because they know exactly who the Face of Boe was before he was decapitated, but their laughing earned them a few strange looks from their companions.

_ DOCTOR: The Moxx of Balhoon.  _

_ MOXX: My felicitations on this historical happenstance. I give you the gift of bodily salivas.  _

_ (Moxx's spit hits Rose in the face.)  _

_ DOCTOR: Thank you very much.  _

_ (The black-robed group glide up.)  _

_ DOCTOR: Ah! The Adherents of the Repeated Meme. I bring you air from my lungs.  _

_ (A large metal hand holds out a ball.)  _

_ ADHERENT: A gift of peace in all good faith.  _

_ STEWARD: And last but not least, our very special guest. Ladies and gentlemen, and trees and multiforms, consider the Earth below. In memory of this dying world, we call forth the last Human. The Lady Cassandra O'Brien Dot Delta Seventeen.  _

_ (A face in a piece of thin skin stretched in a rectangular frame is wheeled in by two men hidden in top-to-toe hospital whites.) _

“Someone’s had quite the plastic surgery,” Donna remarked. 

_ CASSANDRA: Oh, now, don't stare. I know, I know it's shocking, isn't it? I've had my chin completely taken away and look at the difference. Look how thin I am. Thin and dainty. I don't look a day over two thousand. Moisturise me. Moisturise me.  _

_ (One of her attendants uses a pump spray on the skin.)  _

_ CASSANDRA: Truly, I am the last Human. My father was a Texan, my mother was from the Arctic Desert. They were born on the Earth and were the last to be buried in its soil. I have come to honour them and say goodbye. Oh, no tears, no tears. I'm sorry. But behold, I bring gifts. From Earth itself, the last remaining ostrich egg. Legend says it had a wingspan of fifty feet and blew fire from its nostrils. Or was that my third husband? Oh, no. Oh, don't laugh. I'll get laughter lines. And here, another rarity.  _

_ (Rose has walked round the back of Cassandra to see just how thin she is, and a 50's juke box is wheeled in.)  _

_ CASSANDRA: According to the archives, this was called an iPod. It stores classical music from humanity's greatest composers. Play on!  _

“Did she just call a jukebox an iPod?” Bill exclaimed.

_ (One of the little attendants presses a button, a 45 is selected and the strains of Tainted Love by Soft Cell ring out.)  _

_ STEWARD: Refreshments will now be served. Earth Death in thirty minutes.  _

_ (Rose finally can't take all the aliens, and runs out. The Doctor goes to follow her, but gets intercepted.)  _

_ JABE: Doctor?  _

_ (Flash! from a device she is holding. A type of camera, presumably.)  _

_ JABE: Thank you.  _

_ ADHERENT: A gift of peace in all good faith.  _

_ STEWARD: No, you're very kind, but I'm just the Steward.  _

_ ADHERENT: A gift of peace in all good faith.  _

_ STEWARD: Well, yes, thank you. Of course.  _

_ (The steward takes the proffered ball. Jabe consults her camera, which twitters like a bird.)  _

_ JABE: Identify species. Please identify species. Now stop it. Identify his race. Where's he from? It's impossible.  _

_ (She hurries away. One of the Adherant's gifts has been placed on a shelf in a display stand. It opens, and a four-legged metal spider scurries away.) _

“Ugh, I’ve had enough of spiders, even mechanical ones, after those giant ones in that hotel.” Yasmin groaned.

“Giant spiders?” 11 asked. “We get to battle giant spiders?”

“Not quite battle,” 13 replied. “More like try to save.”

“That sounds more like us,” 9 said.


End file.
